Response and Ramble Ramble.

Thank you all for the responses to the last entry!
Let's clear out a few things now :P

Alright..so I really do understand why the organizers would want to
have the "pretty" girl on display rather than the "ugly" girl (let's
just say she's got a lesser degree of symmetry on her face than the
pretty girl? =/). And while I have nothing against them wanting to
show their best, I don't quite like the idea of the actual singer not
being able to present her singing talent to the world because a group
of adults felt she was not quite presentable. IMO, they should have
either compromised with the quality of the singing, or their desire to
put up the prettiest girl. Compromising a little kid's feelings…
shouldn't have been a consideration in the first place.

Next, fireworks…on a serious note,I have nothing against what happened
regarding that :P CGI or no CGI, I am just amazed at how neatly they
managed to pull the trick off! But it's always fun to pull legs innit.
So kudos to them I say! Overall..I really applaud the Chinese
organizers for making the opening such a success. It's one of those
humanity things which make me eyes well up a bit :P.

Now for some mindless ramble once again =)

Green and white. A polo shirt. A familiar smell. A familiar feeling.
Peach at the bottom of some chilled ice-tea. Some waffles with fruits
and ice cream on top. Some tears, some smiles all trapped within
elevator doors and an airport terminal. Some books and some express.
Some coffee in this world. Few words over a dear embrace. Peace and
compassion side by side. Anger and agitation, annoyance and
intolerance followed by a mellowness so unreal. August. Two years it
has been ugly. The third happened to be the worst. A tone – so
innocent and heart melting. Bau. A pie. Some drink from the pictures.
Some kid called Angie. A few clay elephants. Some rings and some
chains. Some gio, some surprises. Some marshies, some jellybeans..
Pictures against a lake facing the sun. Pictures against a lake at a
glass table. Pulling and tugging.. arms inside the sleeves. A
heartwarming sight. So warm that everything melts away. No Drugs. Just
eyes. Wishing to pry open the third. Maybe to reveal the indigo iris.
What makes it so easy to let go I wonder. Happiness so elusive..it
seems to lie elsewhere. Aziz super market..a heaven for black t-shirts
that mean something. A few large coins. A missing card. A few card
tricks over some tasty chicken. Some art. Some galleries. Sitting
against the wall on the floor facing the hard work of a creator.
Laughter over things so petty. Anger over the same. Home. Touchdown.
Promises that the future is bright and full of sunshine. Shhhunsine..
rings in my head. So do many many other things. I wonder if they echo
somewhere else. Do I care? Maybe..maybe not. Cheese slices. Morocco
and Malaysia. Many other places. A lot of travel. A lot of living. 3
years. I wonder where things will stand then. Or even 2 years. Or 1.
Or maybe months. I knew a month ago.. I wish I knew now.

A lot of thai express and second cup awaits us all people! Just less
than two weeks! :D

See you all next time!

Egocentric Ramblings 2

Why this post is being titled Egocentric Ramblings '2' might or might
not be clarified at the end. So don't let the suspense build up too
much.

So I was having this small chat with a very good friend of mine about
how we should leave space for different people thinking in different
ways. This conversation came as a response to me complaining about how
some people think in the most unthinkable ways through their life.
"It's unfair but that's the way it is.." said my good friend. And boy
don't I think "unfair" is an understatement.

My cell phone camera no longer works. My current internet connection
is slower than what a mummied pharaoh will get from inside his tomb on
his wifi which is accessing an access point somewhere in the
Himalayas. Well of course I exaggerate. And I am left feeling terribly
depressed about how some people turn out to be so very different than
what you knew them to be..and different from what you perhaps loved
them for, with all your heart. It's a feeling of betrayal on the self.

To more subtle and serious issues: I really think eating kangaroos
might be a good idea. Just like the Aussie scientist..I say it will
stop global warming. Cow and sheep flatulence is definitely not the
best thing for our mother planet. Maybe we should send them animals to
Mars and have them warm up the planet for us a bit eh?

lolzzz...haha..wow..what on earth would make me say lolzzz? well it's
grief. usually when i am happy i keep it to lol. What grief you ask?
well it's the fact that some will actually adapt to lolzing from
loling. Petty? trivial? well yeah it is.
Recently I realized that certain things in life have made me concerned
about the pettiest and most insignificant things. I have been
stressed, depressed, concerned, worried, puzzled and whaaaat-not by
things which I used to not care about at all! Well with the
realization has come the repair. I remember myself being the least
concerned about the small things in life..to the point of being an
absent minded jerk at times - since I kept on overlooking even some
pretty big things as they seemed too trivial for my oh-so-important
self. I wonder why i just lost that part of me to be suckered in to a
world so small that now...i don't even fit in there.

A song I liked recently..written and sung by a good friend of mine:

I hope you see,
what I want to be,
for you.
All I have to give,
in this life we live,
to you.
What I bear in my soul,
a love which unfolds,
unto you.
An endless time,
and a lifeline,
by you.
Here I bring the sun,
into the blue,
for you.
You didn't see
what i want to be,
for you.
All I had to give,
in this life we live,
to you.
Broken heart,
and back to the start,
without you
I'll find my sleeve,
and take my leave,
without you
You chose a setting
not our wedding
for you..
_______

had a nice rhythm to it :)

I had a dream..one of those dreams that you so wish was real..that
it's just painful to even wake up from it. A dream being lived for so
long that it seemed it'll last forever. Too bad it turned out to be
nothing more than a deception..but hey..it was good. while it lasted.
maybe good is an understatement. It was happiness - the sort that
makes u wake up in the morning with a smile on ur face without u
knowing it.

Too bad I couldn't sleep in and let the dream go on...everybody wants
you to wake up earlier than you would have liked to. I guess that's
exactly what life is. But hey..maybe the dream could have taken a
crazy turn in to a nightmare..in that case aren't I glad i woke up at
the right time :D

OH well...i hope all is well in this world..and everybody's happy! I
recently discovered that certain people (like myself I guess) can act
as a cold virus. They attach themselves to their hosts and eat off
their happiness and bliss to nothing but deathly frustration and
gloom. wow..what are you (we) guys? Leave them (us) happy people
alone! =_=

OK so now for the million cent question about why this post is titled
"2". Well that's because my favourite college essay was titled just
"Egocentric Ramblings". It was probably more organised than this piece
of $hit which led to whatever success it had during the application
process.

I remember ending that essay with a metaphor. I compared myself to a
polygonal shape lying on a sandy beach. Ever changing in shape, all
that's left behind when I die, is the mark left on the sand. Pretty
cool eh? Yeah, I agree....Hah..polygon. what an interesting dream you
have been =)

So the organisers of this year's olympics have a very simplistic
approach to solving problems. Here was the original problem:
1. The best singer found for the Olympic opening ceremony was "ugly".
2. By convention, ugly people cannot be shown on TV unless it's a
makeover show or some stupid reality TV program.
3. The opening ceremony has to have the best singer's voice in the
required song.
4. The prettiest girl didn't quite sing as well as the "ugly" girl.

A very difficult situation eh. Can't compromise looks..can't
compromise quality of voice. And why should they when they have an
ingenious solution to this very problem
The organizers decided that the world audience will see the "pretty"
girl..but hear the "ugly" one's voice. TADAAAA!!!! *chimes*
*beethoven's 9th symphony* *anthem of mars*
That's right. Never thought of THAT..have you? They made her lip synch
in front of the whole world. WOW. Amazing feat guys.

FIREWORKS are AWESOME! Or so everyone who have seen them live tells
me. I haven't really seen anything more than a miniscule firecracker
go off from a terrace. I have also lit a few matches in my life..but
all of these don't count as valid fireworks experience I hear. The
organizers had another problem with these fireworks. They didn't quite
trust their system enough to function well on the big day (or so I
infer from the news). So what they decided to do was...have the
fireworks go off far in advance of the main day's events...and have it
recorded very well on camera. To make sure the global audience
watching the opening ceremony live on the big day don't quite miss out
on this part of the fireworks, the organizers supplied all the
broadcasters with the tapes of these fireworks from the past. The
world thinks every thing is happening at once and goes WOW while the
broadcasting editor sweats in his studio to make sure no one really
detects this trick of theirs. Fiiiiine stuff I say!

Alrighty..time to eject myself from this mood of mindless ramble. Good
day folks! Cya later!

The almost forgotten dream

So as mentioned in the previous post, I had forgotten one of my very
clever dreams...BUT, i remembered it last night just before sleeping.

I dreamt that I had fever. And to get rid of it, I was using this
lotion on my body which made my sweat glands go hyperactive and
increased the blood circulation near my skin somehow. As a result, I
sweat a lot, and hence lost my body's excess heat (the fever). All
this made me feel much much better in just a few minutes. And that's
about it.

Ok then...see you all next time!

It's been another long while.

I don't quite remember the last time I wrote on my blogs so here it is
now. I have boredom oozing out of every sweat gland in my body and
Dhaka's heat and humidity is not helping. A painful goodbye and a
relentless search for something exciting to happen is all cooking up a
bit of frustration and melancholy in my life.

It has been about 2 months now that I have come here. Gave up my
glasses with my newly shaped cornea thanks to some flashy lasers. And
I have tried to lose some kilograms at the gym in vain. I lost one.
The membership ended last week. The next gym I see will be the one
back in Montreal. Till then, I eat, sleep and do nothing much more.

Card tricks have always fascinated me and I just have a few tricks in
my deck at the moment..but maybe with more practice..and unlikely
devotion I will be able to come up with some more.

My cell phone lives on as a beaten soldier...the camera won't work
despite the repair effort put behind it. I am really urged to buy a
camera for myself when I get back this time. Pictures and
videos..maybe a video blog will be born further down the lane. But
given that I am somewhat (VERY) lazy and short of time when semester's
on, it's unlikely that I will ever start one. But hey..I am a dreamer.

Talking about dreams, I have had a few very creative ones lately. In a
previoust post I talked about a dead nail (the white part) dissolving
creame/lotion which acted as an alternate to nail-clipping and also
why planes can fly inverted even though their wings are meant to
create upward lift when upright and downward lift when inverted.

So recently I dreamt of an amazing razer..which used a jet of water in
a horizontal line..which removed hair from the skin without damaging
the skin at all. It was pretty cool because the person using the razer
on me was also talking about how land-owners were organising game
shows to find which winning contestant gets to buy their land.

Next, there was this other dream where..*spending a lot of time trying
to remember what it was..and also chatting away on MSN* ok
nevermind..will leave that to another post. I forgot what it was..will
have to ask father about it. Ok so, he doesn't remember either. Will
ask someone else about it. Arghh..i hate how I can't remember these
things at times.

Food; I have been thinking about food a lot lately (yeah what's new
about that you ask? well I don't know to be honest). But really, I
have been thinking about what I can make this time around in my
montreal kitchen. Been talking to people about food, been eating dhaka
food and asking how this and that has been made and so on.Stir fries
to cakes to sushis to subs to seasame beef to beef sashimi with teffo
at Odaki (:F) - everything is on the to-do list. (so are you AJ...ahem
ahem). So lemon rice is a must try as well. it's a special recipe from
a special person! :D only problem is..i am yet to get the procedure
from the chef :P

OK MOVING ON. Internet here is real slow. Can't youtube or watch TV
shows online here. Which is le suck.

I think i am going to check out some more digital cameras
online..reviews and ratings..(yes i am getting bored of writing this
as well.)

Sigh. Catch you all later.

PS.

AJ, 311. Indigo. Jellybeans.

cellular blog

awesome!

Exciting times we live in!

BBC NEWS
Chemical brain controls nanobots
By Jonathan Fildes
Science and technology reporter, BBC News

A tiny chemical "brain" which could one day act as a remote control
for swarms of nano-machines has been invented.

The molecular device - just two billionths of a metre across - was
able to control eight of the microscopic machines simultaneously in a
test.

Writing in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, scientists
say it could also be used to boost the processing power of future
computers.

Many experts have high hopes for nano-machines in treating disease.

"If [in the future] you want to remotely operate on a tumour you might
want to send some molecular machines there," explained Dr Anirban
Bandyopadhyay of the International Center for Young Scientists,
Tsukuba, Japan.

"But you cannot just put them into the blood and [expect them] to go
to the right place."

Dr Bandyopadhyay believes his device may offer a solution. One day
they may be able to guide the nanobots through the body and control
their functions, he said.

"That kind of device simply did not exist; this is the first time we
have created a nano-brain," he told BBC News.

Computer brain

The machine is made from 17 molecules of the chemical duroquinone.
Each one is known as a "logic device".

They each resemble a ring with four protruding spokes that can be
independently rotated to represent four different states.

One duroquinone molecule sits at the centre of a ring formed by the
remaining 16. All are connected by chemical bonds, known as hydrogen
bonds.

The state of the control molecule at the centre is switched by a
scanning tunnelling microscope (STM).

These large machines are a standard part of the nanotechnologist's
tool kit, and allow the viewing and manipulation of atomic surfaces.

Using the STM, the researchers showed they could change the central
molecule's state and simultaneously switch the states of the
surrounding 16.

"We instruct only one molecule and it simultaneously and logically
instructs 16 others at a time," said Dr Bandyopadhyay.

The configuration allows four billion different possible combinations
of outcome.

The two nanometre diameter structure was inspired by the parallel
communication of glial cells inside a human brain, according to the
team.

Robot control

To test the control unit, the researchers simulated docking eight
existing nano-machines to the structure, creating a "nano-factory" or
a kind of "chemical swiss army knife".

The attached devices, created by other research groups, included the
"world's tiniest elevator", a molecular platform that can be raised or
lowered on command.

The device is about two and a half nanometres (billionths of a metre)
high, and the lift moves less than one nanometre up and down.

All eight machines simultaneously responded to a single instruction in
the simulation.

"We have clear cut evidence that we can control those machines," said
Dr Bandyopadhyay.

This "one-to-many" communication and the device's ability to act as a
central control unit also raises the possibility of using the device
in future computers, he said.

Machines built using devices such as this would be able to process 16
bits of information simultaneously.

Current silicon Central Processing Units (CPUs) can only carry out one
instruction at a time, albeit thousands of times per second.

The researchers say they have already built faster machines, capable
of 256 simultaneous operations, and have designed one capable of 1024.

However, according to Professor Andrew Adamatzky of the University of
the West England (UWE), making a workable computer would be very
difficult at the moment.

"As with other implementations of unconventional computers the
application is very limited, because they operate [it] using scanning
tunnel microscopy," he said.

But, he said, the work is promising.

"I am sure with time such molecular CPUs can be integrated in
molecular robots, so they will simply interact with other molecular
parts autonomously."

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/science/nature/7288426.stm

Published: 2008/03/11 10:32:53 GMT

(c) BBC MMVIII

Dreaming

I had a dream last night. One of those dreams that feel real. I don't quite know if it was one of those which I want to be real..but i know..that i was happy for the while. I was happy while it lasted.

Maybe it was induced by my habit of playing a particular playlist of selected songs which I used to use for falling asleep a long time back.

"A Sranger" by A Perfect Circle will always be one of my favourites and some tracks from Nine Inch Nail's album Still will always calm me down.

Maybe I do want some things to be true. Or not. I don't know really.

Lecter Lecture

I am not sure how good of a decision it was to watch The Silence of The Lambs at midnight. I have always meant to watch this movie..and now I have just completed it. It wasn't as horrific as I expected it to be. It wasn't too gory and didn't come out from the behind to spook the crap out of me. It was just the sort of horror I can enjoy.

Like the millions, I thoroughly enjoyed Hannibal's ability to just read people. Obviously, things aren't like that in reality usually.

Life changes. I change. Some things never change though. And those are our memories. How we look back at those memories, and how they make us feel in the present keep changing though. The present...sigh. the present.

Nostalgic as I am by nature, I tend to look back at the past very often. It's not a very nice thing really. Especially when some of the happiest memories of mine seem so far away in the past. My heart sinks when I realize that I might never set my foot along those paths I have taken in the past; I might never feel the same way about the same thing. I feel a very deep hollow. I try to ignore..and maybe most people just keep on ignoring for the most of their life. That's perhaps the price one has to pay for happiness I suppose. But what about this very realization of ignorance? Doesn't that only aggravate the situation? Make things worse to cope with? Make happiness come from nothing but ignorance?

Well I suppose that IS right. Bliss is found in nothing but ignorance. Responsibility and awareness about everything only makes the mind feel burdened. Not the way to be happy I am guessing.

I wonder what has happened..but I have stopped caring about a lot of things that I cared about before. Hmm..doesn't make too much sense I guess..but hey..lemme ramble and you can shut up for now.

MEH. Whatever. I hope I find myself somewhere in the future. Maybe one day I'll find the world the way it was when I lost it and be happy about it. if that is to happen..i pray that the world doesn't change too much..i pray the world has nothing new to add to my burdens..
Or I'll find a whole new place. a whole new time. and if i do, i pray that i forget, what i was.

Keane?

So I downloaded some Keane music recently..and i liked quite a few of the tracks (musically..)

this one is from Your Eyes Open:

Well it's a lonely road that you have chosen
Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore
And it's a long time since your heart was frozen
Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore
For a moment your eyes open and you know
All the things I ever wanted you to know
I don't know you, and I don't want to
Till the moment your eyes open and you know

pretty cool stuff.