With every tear...

...you go back one year.

It has snowed quite a bit already this year. Last night there were trucks clearing the sidewalks and the streets off the snow. They were loud enough to make the windows shake. Expecting more snowfall on Monday.

I miss home. I miss my family. I miss my room. I feel bad. Really bad.
I seek certainty in everything. I live on certainties and lead everyday to make whatever is uncertain, certain. My career is uncertain. That's why I am studying. But that doesn't mean I am unaware of the randomness of this world and its beings. I hold the random dear to my heart. But some things have to pass through this filter of randomness and stay as solid as they need be. My home, people I hold dear to my heart - they are at heart in their places. They aren't subject to the randomness of the world. Well they are. Maybe.

A long time back...perhaps 10 years ago, I was at a shopping centre (much like Provigo, but the middle eastern kind) with my parents. The shopping carts were my imaginary spaceships. My parents were my comrades (they had to be...otherwise the game wouldn't play right in my head - you know, i would have to change the storyline every time they dragged me somewhere). So on that particular evening, I think i ventured too much by myself and at one point i got lost. I couldn't find my parents anywhere. I kind of ran with my head towards the left looking at every aisle as i crossed them. They weren't there. I was filled with a horrible feeling of being lonely in a big world.

Soon after I found them though (they didn't really notice i was lost for a bit..). Inside, I was so happy I found my spaceship and my comrades. But while I was lost..it wasn't really that space game which continued to play on in my head. It was a very different thriller all together.

...A random anecdote there..

take for granted

1. To consider as true, real, or forthcoming; anticipate correctly.

2. To underestimate the value of: a publisher who took the editors for granted.

I take a lot of things for granted. By definition 1. Wasn't quite aware of definition 2 till today. My vocab is as limited as a bat's vision.

sigh..enough of non-sense rants..

Back to life. If I have one. :P

Good day!